Death of an Angel
by Please Moo With Me
Summary: Angel is dieing. How does every one else feel about it. What does Angel have to say about it all? How will this effect the Boho Family?
1. The letter

**Ok, so I dont own it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**

**This is a random thing I got the inspiration to write. I might continue if you all like it!!!**

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"Collins…?" Angel mumbled as she woke up.

"I'm here baby, I'm here." He said. Collins was lying next to Angel on her hospital bed and as he said this he pulled her closer.

"G'mornin." Angel slurred. Still tired.

She coughed and it startled Collins. She coughed again, Collins helped her sit up. She breathed in, unsteadily and that started a coughing fit. Collins rubbed her back until, five minutes later, Angel settled back into her pillows.

"You know, Collins," Angel said in a sore, raspy voice. "When I die… I won't be able to be the glue anymore."

"The glue?" Collins asked.

"When ever there is a problem, I fix it. I keep everyone together. And this friendship we all have… I don't want it to end just because my life does."

Collins didn't know what to say to this so he just nodded thoughtfully.

"And I want to know, that I can trust you, to… to be the glue for me, when I die, that is. Can I?"

"Of course, Angel. My Angel, you can trust me with anything." He said, his voice thick with tears.

"Good… And Collins…"

"What is it Honey?"

"I don't want to leave you or anyone else yet. I don't want to die and… and… I'm scared."

Collins again didn't know what to say. So he just hugged her as hard as he dared. She was so fragile now and he was so scared he would break her. Angel returned the embrace with as much strength as she could muster. They stayed that way until Angel finally broke the silence.

"You know what I think."

"What do you think?" Collins said, almost mechanically.

"I think you need a coffee and some alone time."

Collins didn't want to leave Angel, any time they had together was precious. She didn't have much time left.

"I don't-"

"Yes you do. Go. Have coffee, tease me with how good it tasted because I am not allowed any."

"Okay…" Collins reluctantly agreed.

Now that Collins was gone Angel started to do something she had been meaning to for a long time. She picked up a pen and started writing.

_**Dear Friends,**_

_**By the time you read this, I will have passed on, but I want, no, need you to know:**_

_**I love you all always and I will always be there for you. No matter what. Even though I am gone, I want you to stay close and remember as alive not dead! I always want you to smile, so remember me for what I did while I was alive and not how I died. Be happy. **_

_**And now for the Personal messages:**_

_**Mimi- My Extra special Spanish baby. I love you to death. You are my best friend. And I want you to stay with this Roger and live a happy life. If you don't I'll- well I don't know what I'll do, but you'll find out when I see you again- Which I will!**_

_**Collins- You are the love of my life and I don't want you to be scared to live life. Move on, in time I know you will. I just want you to be as happy in life as you had made me. I love you always. **_

_**Mo- I know you and Joanne have your rough spots, but I also know you are meant to be. Try and be forgiving and forgive her. I love you and would hate to see you throw away something so special as what you have with Joanne. Please help my Collins get through this as I know you are closest to him apart from me.**_

_**Jo- Forgive Mo and have fun. You know she's crazy. You know she loves you and I know you love her. I love you. Your are the best lawyer I have ever met and by far the most fun. Albeit you're the only one. Haha. **_

_**Roger- Be kind to my Mimi, see to it that she gets clean and quits that horrid job. I want you to be the one to remind every of what I want and please, please stay social. I love you. **_

_**Mark- Keep filming, that documentary will be finished one day and know that I will always be watching. I want you to help everyone through this keep Roger social and I love you also, no matter how much I joked otherwise.**_

_**Benny- Get nicer. Please. Oh and sorry, I killed your dog. **_

_**Everyone I love you all and want you to live the longest, fullest lives you can. Trust me, death always comes too soon. But I have no regrets and I couldn't have asked for better friends. **_

_**All of my love forever,**_

_**Angel. **_

_**Enough kisses to last your whole lives and twice that many hugs.**_

Suddenly, as if writing that had taken all of her energy, she felt exhausted. She clicked the nurse button. A nurse came bustling in and Angel explained everything. How she wanted her to give this to Collins when she died and tell him it is from her and not to read it until everyone was there.

"Okay. I will do that." She replied solemnly.

"Thankyou." Angel replied as she lay back on her pillow and drifted into a light sleep.

Collins entered to see Angel sleeping soundly and he sat on the couch and let his thoughts wander. He remembered-

"_How much longer does sh- he have left?" Collins asked in a hushed voice. _

"_A week, two a most." The doctor replied. _

And suddenly he remembered that was a week and a half ago. Angel was nearly gone. He could tell. Her spark was going. She no longer smiled much and she was barely strong enough to lift her own head.

Now he remembered that he felt urged to go and lye next to his love. What little time he had left was precious.

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**Sorry, if there are any spelling or gramatical errors. Deal with it. haha. Jokes, in the next chap I wont have any errors. Thats a promise. **

**MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO with me, or you could review. You know. Tis all good. **


	2. I wish it werent so

AN// I dont own anything, I wish I did...

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"Collins, how is she?" Mimi asked Collins in a hushed voice, as Angel was sleeping.

"Not good." Collins replied his voice full of regret.

"How long?"

"A few more days, they say."

"Oh." Mimi replied.

Angel stirred.

"How long has she been sleeping?"

"9 hours."

"How longs it been since you slept?"

"A few days." Collins replied, rubbing his eyes.

Angel sat up and coughed and again. This started her in a coughing fit. She lay shakily back on her bed and Collins rubbed her back while Mimi got her a water.

"Thanks." Angel said, in a ruff voice.

"That's kay." Mimi said.

"You know what I miss most about home."

"What?" Collins and Mimi said in unison.

"My shoes, drumming, eating what I want, running and seeing you guys all the time." Angel said, laughing, a hollow laugh. She was scared.

"Aww Ang. We all miss you being around to." Mimi said. "You know, Mo and Jo are fighting even worse without you around."

"Your making me feel bad for getting sick." Angel joked.

They all tried to laugh, to relieve the tension, but all that came out was a fake imitation of a laugh that died quickly.

"Well, I have to go… to work." Mimi reluctantly admitted.

"Quit, I love you, bye Mimi chica."

"Bye Angel baby, Collins."

**A few days later…**

Angel was lying in Collins' lap and shivering violently. She had gotten weaker over the past few days.

"Collins, I love you…" she said and shut her eyes, sleeping.

"I love you to baby."

Angel heart beat was slowing, her breathing becoming shallow. Collins wanted to get the nurse, to call her, to get her to make Angel better. But somehow he knew, he knew she couldn't make her better this time and he knew that Angel had suffered long enough.

In her sleep Angel gave Collins' hand one last squeeze and then Collins kissed her one last time, her heart slowed to a stop and Collins' couldn't move, couldn't move away from his love, she was dead, but maybe, just maybe, if he didn't move he would find out he was dreaming and wake to find her in her normal clothes happy and bouncy as always, if he moved that would somehow make it real. Hours passed, he couldn't admit to himself that she was gone.

The nurse came in, she asked him if he would like to make a call in her small voice. He nodded, she moved Angel gently and he got up. His knees felt strange, his head felt detached from his body, he felt numb as he walked to the phone. He picked it up and dialled Maureen's number.

"Hello?" A groggy Maureen answered.

Collins couldn't tell her, he couldn't say it. It would all come crashing down on him, all the grief the emotion, he needed to be strong, at least until after the funeral.

"Hospital." Was all he said.

"Oh, baby, I'm coming." And Maureen was on her way.

Collins sat on a hard waiting room couch and waited, he waited for Maureen, for the nurse to tell him to go away, for the nurse to tell him it was alright and she was fine, but, nothing happened.

The next thing he knew he was at the loft on the couch, he didn't know how he got there he vaguely remembered walking, but couldn't be sure.

Then he thought, maybe he was dreaming, maybe Angel was in the kitchen getting a drink. He saw Mimi's expression and all hopes vanished.

"She's really gone." Collins said.

Mimi broke down in tears.

No one dared move, no one wanted to speak, but someone had to brake the silence.

"So what about a funeral, what would she have wanted?" Joanne asked, looking, by far, the strongest of them all.

"Oh!" Mimi nearly shouted. "I forgot this…" And with the she pulled out the letter and handed it to Collins, who read it in his head first, then out loud.

After he read the letter, Mimi cried, a single tear slipped down Collins' face and Maureen buried her face in Collins' shoulder. Roger and Mark were blank.

"How the fuck are we supposed to be happy?" Roger asked, turning his grief into anger, same as when April died.

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